LI Marriage Counseling Center Blog_The Affair, From the Victim’s Perspective

Long Island Marriage Counseling Center at Huntington, NY

From Dr. Kramer – Give me a call now at 631-553-1476 to make an appointment or email me at Marriage Counseling Long Island.

At the Long Island Marriage Counseling Center, Huntington, NY, some clients come to us after one of the spouses has had an affair. The question always is: Can our marriage survive after he/she has told me about the affair? Can I ever trust again?

I always help the hurt spouse to first focus on his or her feelings. What are the feelings when your spouse has had an affair? Betrayal? Fear? Anger? Pain in the heart? Disappointment? Probably all of them are appropriate and normal.

What do you do if you are the wounded party? First, there is getting the anger out and having the other spouse ‘get it’. Then there is the exploration of feelings and causes. When an affair occurs, there can be many causes – from something missing in the marriage to someone who needs to prove him or herself in terms of desirability over and over.

It is only when the reasons have been uncovered can the repairs begin. That ranges from: I can never trust him or her and am leaving… to: I see my part in this problem and will repair my part, if you repair yours.

Whatever happens, the affair is the catalyst for change. If you want to discuss this issue or make an appointment, send me an email to the right.

From Dr. Kramer – Give me a call now at 631-553-1476 to make an appointment or email me at Marriage Counseling Long Island.

Warmly, Diane

Dr. Diane Kramer, Psychologist
LI Marriage Counseling and Divorce Mediation Centers, Huntington, NY
631-553-1476