LI Marriage Counseling Blog – When You Are on Different Tracks

by Dr. Diane Kramer on February 26, 2010

Long Island Marriage Counseling Center at Huntington, NY

At the Long Island Marriage Counseling Center, we often hear the following story: I am ready for retirement. I want to go south and stay warm. I fantasize about walking around the golf course in my shorts in the winter. I need this.

Then the other spouse responds: I don’t want to leave (the children, my friends, my job, my mother).

What we have is conflict and that conflict needs to be resolved. We recommend that both sides talk about why their need is important until each spouse demonstrates understanding of the other. Then and only then do we recommend starting to negotiate some type of compromise. Of course, if one side is totally fixated on their need and the other is the same, compromise may not be possible. As a matter of fact, we have a number of clients at the Long Island Marriage Counseling Center who have decided to live in two separate locations and visit frequently.

Do you have this situation? If you would like to discuss, please send me an email to the right. I look forward to talking to you.

Warmly, Diane

Dr. Diane Kramer

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