Marriage_A Place to Dump Blame

Long Island Marriage Counseling Center at Huntington, NY

From Dr. Kramer – Give me a call now at 631-553-1476 to make an appointment or email me at Marriage Counseling Long Island.

Marriage is a great place to dump blame. When you or your mate is fearful, scared and worried about the future, there is no better time than to take it out on your mate, right? Many do this unconsciously. They just see their mate, find something wrong and attack. They get it out and then get attacked or ignored back by their mate. They then focus on what is wrong with the marriage rather than what might be going wrong in their life.

Catherine continued to do this for years. Craig was ready to leave her when she came to see me professionally. She and I first looked at how she was handling her future. She had developed an unconscious belief that she was not good enough to succeed. Everytime she moved forward in her career, she predicted failure and began to feel a vague anxiety.

I taught her to surface her feelings and look at failure differently. There is actually nothing wrong with failure. It can be a great learning tool. However, Catherine experienced failure as: “You see, there is something wrong with me.” She felt worthless and powerless and got stuck! Her vague anxiety came from predicting that she was going to feel worthless and powerless. When that fear arouse, she turned on Craig.

Once Catherine became more aware and began to challenge her limiting beliefs about her Self and treat failure as a learning experience, she no longer needed to attack Craig. The marriage began to work. There was a deep foundation of mutual caring that took over.

If you have these kinds of problems in your marriage and would like to discuss them, just email me to the right or call me at 631-553-1476 for a free consultation.

From Dr. Kramer – Give me a call now at 631-553-1476 to make an appointment or email me at Marriage Counseling Long Island.

Warmly, Diane

Dr. Diane Kramer
631-553-1476
Huntington, NY