Long Island Marriage Counseling Blog – Post-Marriage Counseling

LI Marriage Counseling Center, Huntington, NY

From Dr. Kramer – Give me a call now at 631-553-1476 to make an appointment or email me at Marriage Counseling Long Island.

“Long Island Marriage Counseling – Post-Marriage Counseling

Long Island Marriage Counseling Center sometimes sees couples who have already divorced or are in the process of divorcing. Some of these couples want to still try to save their marriage and we dive right in to help them. However, there are a number of couples who come in, not to save the marriage but to work on their post-divorce relationship.

Many of these post-divorce couples have come to realize that they married each other for the wrong reasons, and that marriage counseling will not help. At least one of them recognizes if they had been more mature at the point of marrying, they would never have chosen that spouse. But because of their lack of emotional awareness of their own patterns, shaped from childhood, they married. Maybe they were terribly insecure and afraid. Maybe they did not want to face the big world alone. Maybe they married because the spouse reminded them of one of their parents or was the opposite.

Whatever the reasons for the end of the marriage, these couples who come to post-divorce marriage counseling all have one thing in common. They want to find a way to have a decent relationship with each other, usually for the sake of the kids.

What I teach them is how to calm down their Emergency Switchboard (fight or flight reaction) and Manage Their Calm. That is usually step 1. In staying calm with each other, they can begin to listen to each other. In the calm, they can begin to discuss their differences without going into battle.

Marriage Counseling is difficult if not impossible if the spouses do not learn to calm down and be able to talk to each other. Usually there is a training period when both sides start to recognize when their emergency switchboard is being triggered. Once they get used to the idea and practice Managing Their Calm, we can make headway with the issues they need to work out.

By starting with Managing the Calm, we are able to help most couples at the Long Island Center for Marriage Counseling.

From Dr. Kramer – Give me a call now at 631-553-1476 to make an appointment or email me at Marriage Counseling Long Island.

Warmly, Diane

Dr. Diane Kramer, Marrriage Counselor and Psychologist
Long Island Marriage Counseling Center at Huntington, NY
75 Prospect St., Suite 103
Huntington, NY 11743
631-553-1476