LI Marriage Counseling Center, Huntington, NY
From Dr. Kramer – Give me a call now at 631-553-1476 to make an appointment or email me at Marriage Counseling Long Island.
“Long Island Marriage Counseling – Making a Decision to Leave or Stay
Sometimes an individual comes to the Long Island Marriage Counseling Center to talk about staying or leaving the marriage. My response is usually the same – First, let’s get you strong with inner security, self-value and self-love, no matter what is happening externally.
My clients at the Long Island Marriage Counseling Center always agree with me. It is too fearful to make the decision to leave without inner strength. And the decision to stay is extremely painful with the current status quo.
How do my clients then learn to develop that inner strength, self-worth and self-love, no matter what. There are many methods but they all start with noticing when one is not feeling those states. Noticing leads to learning to detach from, or interrupt, the negative states.
I use a combination of visualizations and mindfulness meditation to teach clients at the Long Island Marriage Counseling Center to detach. They also learn to recognize, challenge and change their limiting beliefs behind their painful states of conflict and fear. And they learn to substitute empowering beliefs and images as well as learn to manage a calm mind.
Most clients are surprised to learn that a part of the brain, the Amygdala, sends them into an altered state where less blood is flowing to the brain, and thinking automatically turns negative, worried, black and white and even a little paranoid. It is during that brain state that they mostly experience their negative thoughts and painful feelings. Clients learn to turn off the Amygdala threat response and move from fear to love.
Once my clients at the Long Island Marriage Counseling Center have mastered the ability to detach and to self-love, they are ready to consider their decision. And now they are different. The situation and the other person looks different. The decision to leave or stay is now made based on a healthier belief in Self and the future. These clients know they will be fine whether or not they leave or stay, and so their decisions are not out of fear.
I am hoping to help all women (and men) to develop their inner strength so that their decisions to leave or stay can be made on the basis of healthy need satisfaction or not, and not on the basis of fear and insecurity.
Dr. Diane Kramer, Marrriage Counselor and Psychologist
Long Island Marriage Counseling Center at Huntington, NY
75 Prospect St., Suite 103
Huntington, NY 11743