LI Marriage Counseling Center, Huntington, NY

From Dr. Kramer – Give me a call now at 631-553-1476 to make an appointment or email me at Marriage Counseling Long Island.

“Long Island Marriage Counseling – What Makes a Great Marriage?

First of all, great marriages are made, not born. I myself learned to have a great marriage by first changing myself so that I was not dependent on my partner for making me feel good about myself. I figured out how to meet most of my Unmet Childhood Needs on my own (such as need for approval, belonging and validation.) Here is a list of criteria for the great marriage. In the coming weeks on this blog, I will continue to write about the great marriage in more detail.

Criteria for a Great Marriage – Spouses:

1. Respect and trust each other.

2. Have similar values about money, monogomy, raising children, lifestyle

3. Have some interests in common and enjoy spending time together

4. Are sexually attracted to each other (otherwise you might as well get a roommate)

5. Both take 100% responsibility for their own self-worth and do not need to feel superior to the other to feel good about themselves.

6. Both take 100% responsibility for their own self-worth and do not feel inferior to the other

7. Both are interested in making the relationship work long time

8. Both are compassionate when the other is sick or upset

9. Both know the importance of keeping themselves calm and not firing off their ‘fight or flight’ or stress response

10. Both can be open, authentic and present with each other

11. Both can talk to each other from ‘I’ positions when feeling upset, rather than attacking, blaming, rationalizing or avoiding

12. Both can talk from an ‘I’ position when upset and say things like: I am hurt that you… and want to understand. In the future would you…
I am disappointed that you… and want to understand. In the future would you… I feel unloved when you… and want to understand. In the future would you…

Check these points against your own relationship. Patterns can change and many people find that marriage counseling improves their relationships.

From Dr. Kramer – Give me a call now at 631-553-1476 to make an appointment or email me at Marriage Counseling Long Island.

Warmly, Diane

Dr. Diane Kramer, Marrriage Counselor and Psychologist
Long Island Marriage Counseling Center at Huntington, NY
75 Prospect St., Suite 103
Huntington, NY 11743
631-553-1476